Building Self-Esteem
This month I would like to focus on the topic of self-esteem. Self-esteem is a widely used term within schools and educational settings, but it is often misunderstood by parents and caregivers.
It is best defined as the collection of beliefs or feelings that we have about ourselves, or our "self-perceptions." A child’s sense of self has a tremendous influence both their attitudes and behaviors as this guiding ‘voice’ often determines what children choose to act and engage in.
Children’s motivation towards certain tasks will usually be determined by their perception about how well they think they can do something. For example, there is strong evidence to suggest that many children will choose not to give their best to their schoolwork for fear of failing or not achieving the level. When prior experiences at school have been negative, children will rationalise that it is better to not try and fail rather than give their best and fall short. This is also when we see boys and girls start to ‘act out’ to avoid having the focus on their abilities.
Many researchers describe a healthy self esteem as a child’s amour against the challenges of the world. It makes sense, therefore, that parental involvement is crucial to helping a child form accurate, healthy self-perceptions. It is vitally important that we understand not only how to recognise common features of self-esteem, but also how we can foster a greater sense of self in our children.
Firstly, we need to obtain an understanding as to where our children are at. This revolves around how the act when confronted with challenges and their actual attitude to learning. There are a number of pointers that will assist you to recognise their level of self-esteem. For example, how your son or daughter reacts when confronted by challenges in life is a very good indiator. If they 'throw in the towel' at whenever something appears daunting, this suggests that they do not believe they have the emotional strength to handle failure.
Secondly, I propose that you follow a series of guidelines, or commandments that should be followed in all our efforts with our children. They range from how we can reinforce positive actions, through to what we can do to foster skills for coping with situations. The learning guide “Building a Healthy self-esteem” contains detailed information about each of these 12 areas. Click here for more information.
Finally, depending on the age of your child, there are also a number of easy-to-follow strategies that will assist them to shift their perspective on their value and worth as a person. These are covered in detail as well in the guide. It is important to note here that it isn’t the amount of money that you spend on your child that matters, but the quality of time that you can give them that brings the greatest results.
Focus on these simple steps and you will be amazed at how quickly their self-esteem will build. As Ralph Waldo Emerson famously said, “What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us”!
If you would like to make a comment about this information, I would love to discuss this further. Just drop me a line at shane@learningguardian.com. Remember, this and a host of other learning guides are available at www.learningguardian.com
Kin regards,
Shane
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